


If you were here to listen, I'd say I'm sorry

by Mackerel (Ethot)



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Abusive Reginald Hargreeves, Child Abuse, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I do be needing therapy tho, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, In my Fics five can never have nice things, M/M, Mackerel projects themself onto five once again, Mackerel stop projecting challenge, Number Five | The Boy Has Issues, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Number Five | The Boy-centric, Other, Parent/Child Incest, Pseudo-Incest, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Underage Rape/Non-con, Vanya tries to help but five doesnt budge :(, when will i write something nice? never
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:21:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29632470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ethot/pseuds/Mackerel
Summary: A secret that they both had was a secret for them to keep, he should never tell anyone or let them know. What would Reginald do if they did?PLEASE READ TAGS, ONCE AGAIN I DO NOT SUPPORT ANYTHING MENTIONED IN THIS FIC. I'm just projecting my feelings and coping, if you dont like this sort of stuff then leave and ignore. Thank you very much!
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Reginald Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy/Reginald Hargreeves
Comments: 10
Kudos: 44





	If you were here to listen, I'd say I'm sorry

**Author's Note:**

> GUESS WHOSE PROJECTING AGAIN????? me.  
> I'm sad asf again so that means I write fics with Five absolutely going thru hell, but I love him I swear sjcjjsdj  
> Anyways uhhh hope u enjoy reading it, or not, I dunno

It was a secret for him to keep

He shouldn't tell them, **he couldn't.**

What would Dad do to him if one of his siblings found out, let alone catch them.

Five didnt want to get hit again, anything but that.

When Reginald would hold his hands together where he couldn't move, when he was strapped to a table, it felt so cold against his skin. It hurt, not just the occasional hits but when he would choke Five and enter him, he didn't want it. Sometimes when he was trying to sleep Five would hear his door opening and under his blanket he'd see a looming shadow, Reginald was going to do it again.

He'd freeze and still pretend to sleep even if his father was taking his clothing off, he was paralyzed with fear. He remembered what happened when he tried to make Reginald stop the first time, he didn't want it to happen again, he didnt want Vanya to get hurt because of him.

Reginald didn't even try to be subtle as he roughly opened Five's shirt, this time he couldn't even pretend to be asleep as his eyes shot wide open with surprise "d-dad?!" He was cut off with a hand placing itself into his mouth "Silence Number Five, you don't want to wake the others do you?" He stopped and froze again after those words were silently muttered, Reginald said it lovingly, he wanted to throw up.

"Now stay still and be a good boy, I'll make you feel good again, you want that right?" 

He was shaking, fear seeped into his body and he couldn't stop shaking, but Five nodded. He didn't have a choice in this anyway.

It was hard to notice and since their showers had curtains to separate them, no one noticed the bruises and marks that scattered around Five's body. To his thighs, neck, and chest, there were little purple and red spots to where Reginald would hit him or nip on his skin, it always felt like Five was getting eaten alive. In a sense, he was.

But it wasn't long until one of them managed to accidentally see the bruises, Ben was the first. "Five." His voice echoed across the spacious room that was the library 

"What is it Ben?" 

"What are those things on your neck?" 

Ah, Five was sure he'd get punished later.

"Just bug bites, it's nothing for you to worry about." 

"...okay, but if you need help don't hesitate to tell me." 

He scoffed, Ben couldn't help him if he tried, no one could. They'd just get hurt because of him.

Five didn't know when it started, but he sure as hell did remember how it happened. The thought engraved in his mind and he couldn't get rid of it, the feeling of fear mixed with betrayal. Five's crying pleads were no use as he was gagged and drugged.

Sometimes after Reginald would give him hell he couldn't muster up the energy to move or even get up from his bed, he'd miss breakfast or dinner, he knew what was coming but he couldn't even try to get up even if he wanted. 

"This is your punishment for missing mealtimes."

He was hit 

"You failed to attend training lessons again. "

And again

"Tell me Number Five, what are you?" 

Reginald said as he lifted Fives head up, his hair was being pulled, it hurt. 

"Come on! Spit it out now."

And with baited breath, tearfully he said.

"I-I'm … I'm a bad boy."

And maybe Dad was right, maybe the reasons why he's being punished by the man was him, it was his fault. Sometimes he thought that he should be punished more, and from time to time he saw that he started liking it when he was punished. But he knew it was wrong, he shouldn't believe it. It's what Dad would've wanted, he didn't want to lose himself from him.

Five would find himself laying lifelessly on Reginald's bed, his throat felt sore and almost every part of him hurtled. He could feel it inside him, Reginald didn't even bother cleaning him up, he just used Five as a toy and threw him aside when he was done with it.

"Prepare your clothes and do not be tardy in your training sessions, Number Five." He said before he left him there, in the dark all by himself.

He felt gross

"Five..?"

He looked up from his book and saw Vanya, and by the looks of it she seemed… concerned. 

"What is it?"

"I...what, what does he do to you Five?"

His heart froze, what? How? Did she know?

"What are you talking about?" 

She stood in front of him with clenched fists, never had he seen Vanya look this determined. no, no, no, he didn't want Vanya to get involved in this, he didn't want her to get hurt because of him.

"I was going to go to dads office and… I heard you two, what.. what happened?" 

"Nothing, he made me go through a test."

"But why in his office? Y-you were screaming! Please Five te—" 

He gritted his teeth, he wanted to tell her, he did. But the looming fear of Reginald knowing, he'll find a way to know. The last thing he wanted was any of his siblings getting hurt, he was content with being the only one Reginald toyed with. 

"No! There's nothing for you to worry about, Vanya, I'm fine!"

"But Five i—" 

**"GET OUT!"**

He pushed her away, he pushed everyone away, but it was all for their safety. Five wanted to protect them, but his turning point was near and he was about to shatter.

"I want to time travel."

He barely did talk back to Reginald these days but, he wanted the man to listen to him for once, as much as he hated him Five also desperately wanted his approval.

"Silence, you are not allowed to talk during mealtimes, Number Five." 

"But I'm ready!"

He wasn't, he didn't have enough time to train or even had the energy to train. He quickly stood up and warped right next to his father, his fear rose more and more, why is he doing this? He should stop.

_"See?"_

Reginald took a firm grip to one of his hands, he was afraid, he hated it when Reginald touched him. As the man gave him a lecture to which he didn't even or couldn't care to listen to, Five felt a sting, his grip hurt. And that small pang of pain made him react by instinct pulling his hand away and stepping back.

"I-I don't get it."

"And that's why you are not ready!"

He didn't care if he was ready or not, Five wanted to run away, and that he did do. Vanya glanced at him and shook her head, Five thought to himself. 'But if I do this, what if she'll get hurt?' It almost made him give up, but looking back at Reginald bought him back to his original senses. He couldn't endure it anymore, he didn't want to be hurt anymore.

And so he ran

And ran

The thought crossed his mind, maybe he could teleport? Maybe he could leave this time, no one would ever look for him again.

There were no second thoughts as Five held both of his hands in fists, a luminous blue flashing right before his eyes as he changed time itself.

Everything looked different, it was sunny, then it was autumn, then it was snowing. The very last thing he expected was him teleporting on a wasteland, the momentary euphoria he felt of being free disappeared in an instant.

He ran and ran again

"Vanya! Ben! Anyone!"

Running back to the Academy, please, please, please, don't —

"D-dad?"

No one was there, he was alone. Five stopped running and fell onto his knees, how foolish of him. 

Maybe dad was right.

maybe he wasn't ready, maybe he should've stayed.

"I'm sorry Dad."


End file.
